Caring for someone who could careLESS? - this goes out to you for the last time.

Truthfully, I have nothing left to say but I give up.
I hope you're happy and I wish you the best in life.
I want to tell you how much I hate you and how much I want the worse things to happen to you.
But I really can’t say that because I don’t hate you, and I really don’t want anything bad to happen to you.

I just wish I wasn’t so clueless,
I wish I wasn’t so stupid to believe that you were actually a “nice” guy.
Hence the fact that you treated me like dirt,
As if I was the most stupidest girl in the entire world.

I thought I had it bad in the past,
I thought it couldn’t get any worse but I was wrong.
In the past, I thought a guy who would whine about how I wouldn’t pick up
his many phone calls was childish.
I thought someone who did me wrong and took me for granted was bad.
But, you see I was all wrong.
You proved to be the worst guy I ever started talking to.

You wasted so much of my time,
Telling me you were different,
telling me it was okay to trust you,
Telling me that you don’t want me to stress
and would do something to get me to stop (note: you made it worse),
And that you’ll be there if I need someone to just listen.

I may not have known you for the longest time,
But what hurts is that you made me want to breakdown those wall
Those walls that every guy wanted me to break to be able to let them in.
I guess I chose the wrong guy to start trusting, to start caring about, and to even
start believing that they won’t just get up and leave.

I’m so stupid because I chose you,
I was starting to trust you,
I started to care so much about you - that I prayed that you wouldn’t hurt anymore.
Did you know that it hurt me so much to see those painful texts of what was happening in your life?
Did you know that I cried when you told me something critical you were going through,
Someone as “nice” as you that I started to even question: why do the most nicest guy, get something horrific happening in their life.
When I say I cared, I really mean I cared about you.
All I wanted for you was to be happy- nothing more, nothing less.

But all you did was treat me like dirt,
I thought since you’re older you would be more mature.
Mature enough to be STRAIGHT UP.
Mature enough to know that it’s better to tell the person and not leaving them hanging.
Ignoring them and pretend you had good intentions don’t get you anywhere.
Like seriously, how old are you?
Aren’t you old enough to know how to treat people?
Aren’t you old enough to talk and be STRAIGHT UP?

That’s all I wanted from you,
For you to be straight up - if you don’t want to do something,
or if you can’t do it then tell me!
Stop being so childish and just tell me straight up.
Sorry, but I don’t read minds.